Executive Function, Explained Working Memory: Why “I Just Told You” Doesn’t Always Work
Understanding the executive function skill that helps teens hold onto information long enough to use it.
You ask your teen to grab their backpack, fill their water bottle, and put their shoes on.
Five minutes later, they're standing in the kitchen without their backpack and somehow the water bottle never made it out of their room.
It can look like they weren't listening. But listening and remembering aren't the same thing.
What Is Working Memory?
Working memory is the mental workspace we use to temporarily hold and work with information.
Multi-step directions can be especially difficult for students with executive function challenges. They have to hold the instructions in mind while completing one step, remember what they've already done, and keep track of what comes next.
Many parents find themselves saying, "But I literally just told you."
Repeating the direction, and saying it louder, doesn't necessarily help. Your teen may have been listening, but their brain may not have been able to hold onto all of the information. Stress, distraction, fatigue, and cognitive overload can make working memory even harder to access.
And this isn't just a teen experience. Many of us have walked into a room and suddenly forgotten why we went there in the first place.
Sometimes the answer isn't expecting the brain to remember more.
It's getting some of that information out of the brain and into the environment.
That's where external supports can take some of the load off working memory.
What Can Help
Say less. Give one or two steps rather than six. You can also ask your teen to repeat the plan back in their own words.
Make it visible. Use written lists, checklists, calendars, sticky notes, or visual routines so the information doesn't have to stay in their head.
Ask what works. "Would you rather I text that to you or write it down?"
Have them think through the plan. Ask, "Okay, what's your plan from here?" This gives them an opportunity to organize the information themselves.
Reduce competing input. Sometimes the problem isn't remembering. There's simply too much information competing for attention.
Using external supports is an executive function strategy.
Working memory isn't about trying harder to remember everything.
Sometimes the most effective strategy is creating a system so you don't have to.
When we give teens tools to externalize information, we're not doing the work for them. We're helping them discover strategies they can eventually use independently.
If your teen struggles with remembering directions, keeping track of responsibilities, or following through on plans, executive function coaching can help them develop systems that work with their brain.
About Me
I’m an educator and executive function coach passionate about helping kids with ADHD and learning differences thrive. After years of seeing bright students struggle with organization, focus, and confidence, I guide parents and children with practical strategies that work in the real world.
If you are ready to help your child succeed and build lasting skills, schedule a 1:1 coaching session today.
