How parents can support better decisions about homework and competing deadlines.
A teen sits down to do homework and opens their laptop.
There’s a math assignment due tomorrow, a history project due Friday, a science test coming up, and an English essay they haven’t started.
They know about all the work they have to do. Some may even have every assignment written in their planner.
But the real question is what should they start with?
For some teens, deciding what to work on can take as much energy as completing the work itself. They move between assignments, check deadlines, open and close tabs, or choose the task that feels easiest.
By the time they’ve decided what to do, they feel frustrated.
This is why prioritization is an important executive function skill to learn and practice.
Why Prioritizing Can Be Difficult
Prioritization requires more than knowing what’s due.
Teens need to consider deadlines, weigh importance, estimate how long tasks will take, recognize consequences, and decide what deserves their attention.
This draws on several executive function skills, including working memory, planning, time management, and cognitive flexibility.
When multiple assignments compete for attention, students may prioritize based on how a task feels.
An easy assignment might offer a quick sense of accomplishment. A stressful project might demand their attention even when something else is more urgent.
Sometimes, the number of choices makes it difficult to begin at all.
A project due Friday may need attention on Monday because it involves several steps. Meanwhile, a worksheet due tomorrow might take only ten minutes.
Deadlines matter, but they don’t tell the whole story.
When Parents Become the Prioritization System
It’s understandable for parents to step in when their teen feels overwhelmed.
“You need to finish math first.”
“Stop worrying about that project and study for your test.”
“Just do the hardest thing and get it over with.”
These suggestions may help a student finish their work that evening.
But when adults consistently make these decisions, teens have fewer opportunities to practice evaluating their own priorities.
Instead, we can support their thinking through questions:
“Which assignment has the closest deadline?”
“Is there anything that might take longer than you expect?”
“What happens if you wait until tomorrow?”
“What do you think makes the most sense to start with?”
The questions encourage students to consider the information behind a decision.
Some teens will need more guidance. They may benefit from having an adult narrow the options, model the thinking process, or work through the decision alongside them.
As their skills develop, that support can gradually decrease.
A Practical Strategy: Choose, Explain, Revisit
One way to practice prioritization is to build a short routine into the beginning of homework time.
Choose: Ask your teen to identify the task they believe deserves their attention first.
Explain: Have them share their reasoning. Are they considering the deadline, the amount of work, or the consequences of waiting?
Revisit: After working, reflect together. Was that a good place to start? Would they make the same choice next time?
For example, a student might choose to finish a short math assignment before beginning a history project.
Afterward, they realize the math took longer than expected, leaving less time for the project.
Rather than focusing only on what they should have done differently, ask:
“What information would have helped you make that decision?”
Maybe they underestimated the math assignment. Perhaps they hadn’t considered how many steps the history project required.
That reflection helps students recognize patterns in their planning and use what they’ve learned the next time.
Of course, there will be situations when more direct adult support is necessary, particularly when a student is overwhelmed or the consequences of a missed deadline are significant.
The amount of support can change as the student develops greater independence.
Building the Skill Over Time
Prioritization becomes more demanding as students move through middle school, high school, and into adulthood.
A student who managed assignments independently last year may struggle when they’re suddenly balancing more classes, longer projects, extracurricular activities, and competing deadlines.
Their strategies may need to grow alongside those demands.
A weekly reset or brief daily planning conversation can provide opportunities to practice making these decisions before everything feels urgent.
The next time your teen says, “I have so much to do, I don’t know where to start,” consider asking:
“Let’s look at what’s coming up. What do you think needs your attention first?”
Their answer may be different from the one you would choose.
But each opportunity to evaluate, decide, and reflect helps them develop a process they can eventually use on their own.
Supporting Your Teen’s Executive Function Skills
If your teen struggles with planning, prioritizing, or managing assignments independently, my free Weekly Reset Guide offers a starting point for reviewing responsibilities and identifying what needs attention.
At Kimberly Educates, I work with teens to strengthen executive function skills through practical strategies, self-awareness, and supported practice.
Learn more about executive function coaching or schedule a free discovery call.
