The Executive Function Skill We Don't Talk About Enough: Self-Awareness
Why understanding yourself is often the first step toward meaningful change.
When people think about executive function skills, they often think about planners, organization, time management, and follow-through.
These skills matter, but there is another executive function skill that often gets overlooked:
Self-awareness.
Before a strategy can work, teens need to recognize what is happening in the first place.
They need to notice:
What helps them focus
What makes a task harder
What usually gets in their way
What overwhelm feels like
What works for them
Without self-awareness, helpful strategies sometimes fall flat.
Meet the Brain Coach
One concept I use with students is the idea of a "brain coach."
Your brain coach is the part of you that notices what is happening, reflects on it, and helps you make decisions.
It's the voice that says:
"I've seen this before."
"I know what usually helps."
"I need a break."
"I should write that down before I forget."
The stronger a student's brain coach becomes, the less they rely on adults to constantly remind, monitor, and manage their day.
This is where independence can grow from.
Making Mental Movies
One way to strengthen self-awareness is by creating mental movies.
A mental movie is simply replaying a situation and observing what happened.
Not to criticize or shame, but to understand.
For example:
A student forgets to turn in an assignment.
Instead of asking:
"Why didn't you turn it in?"
We might ask:
"Let's replay what happened."
What was the last thing you remember doing?
What happened after that?
What got in the way?
What do you notice?
The goal of a mental movie is not blame, but to gather information.
Self-Awareness Builds Better Problem Solvers
Many people assume that success means getting everything right.
Growth comes from noticing patterns.
A student might realize:
I focus better when I start earlier.
I forget verbal directions.
I work longer than I think without breaks.
I avoid assignments when I am worried about making mistakes.
Observations like these become the foundation of self awareness allowing connected strategies for positive change.
Questions That Build Self-Awareness
The questions we ask matter.
Instead of:
"Why did you do that?"
Try:
"What did you notice?"
"What made that hard?"
"What helped?"
"What surprised you?"
"What would you try differently next time?"
Reflective questions are less likely to be met with defensiveness.
Over time, teens can begin asking themselves these questions automatically.
Many people look for the perfect planner, reminder system, or routine.
But before a strategy can work, students need to understand themselves.
Self-awareness helps teens recognize patterns, solve problems, and make adjustments.
This strengthens the brain coach that supports independence long after parents stop reminding.
If your teen struggles with follow-through, organization, motivation, or self-monitoring, executive function coaching can help build the awareness and skills that support lasting change.
You can learn more or book a free clarity call here:
About Me
I’m an educator and executive function coach passionate about helping kids with ADHD and learning differences thrive. After years of seeing bright students struggle with organization, focus, and confidence, I guide parents and children with practical strategies that work in the real world.
If you are ready to help your child succeed and build lasting skills, schedule a 1:1 coaching session today.
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Kimberly Marks
